How can I heal my OCD and finally get the peace I want so badly?

What does the obsessive mind seek so desperately and so intensely? Certainty. The OCD mind desires to find something that is unchanging, consistent, and completely reliable; which will then clear all doubts forever.

The very nature of form is that it is in a constant state of flux; as the body is decaying and thoughts do not hold up when the mind gives up concentration on them. So we will always find our self in doubt at some point if we are seeking certainty in ever changing form.

If you watch your life closely, that is exactly what you are doing. We want to know that the body, kids, wife, husband, job, bank account, my mind, are all eternally safe and free from change without a drop of uncertainty. The OCD mind creates this extraordinary network of compulsions or intense urges to behave along certain lines in order to check for consistency and stop the inevitable decay of form.

If we see clearly that we can never find absolute certainty in forms (bodies, thoughts, things etc.) due to their ever changing nature, yet we still demand to find it; what happens to the mind? It moves into a state of Intense Still Awareness. This awareness exists in spite of thought and body phenomenon and is not dependent on outer conditions. If you investigate, you will discover that this awareness is You and has never changed. You are the Doubtless Illuminator of the doubtful play of form.

The compulsive mind is like a flashlight searching endlessly for the source of the light. Everything it illuminates it sees the light within that illumination and mistakes it for itself. Therefore, suffers and is in a constant state of anxiety believing “when the form dissolves, I dissolve. I must worry and desparately seek to preserve these things.” Know this:

You are  the Unchanging Illuminator of All Things, but not the things themselves.

The root compulsion of all compulsions is for The Unchanging Light of Awareness to identify with that which it illuminates. Mainly the “me” that is comprised of that body and the vast conglomeration of memories, desires, ambitions, demands, social status: my physical and conceptual life. Which is always by nature in a state of  flux therefore unstable, uncertain, and doubtful.

With great perseverance dig up and discard this root compulsion and be healed!