When we are identified with the world of form, we seek God in forms. We huddle around “good” objects and try to avoid “bad” objects. We think God is good concepts and the opposite are anti-God concepts. Life becomes about retaining and rejecting; which makes for endless conflict with ones’ self. This is very confusing because the results are always the same: Feeling good and then not feeling good. Riding the rollercoaster of pain and pleasure.What brought peace yesterday brings no relief today etc.
Your true nature lies beneath the opposites as the ground from which all these conceptual and physical forms spring. Seek the Final Cause by deeply surrendering the details of “my life.” Then all confusion and doubt will be cleared once the exclusive me finally sacrifices its compulsion to be partial and its desire for self-preservation.