I am unhappy and disillusioned by some of these spiritual teachers, even been tricked by some of these “empowerment teachers.” Awareness helps but I feel frustrated because they all say, “practice presence, be the awareness.” I have been doing that but it still feels like a struggle. Why? You seem to speak beyond that; but you are hard to understand.

There are a couple different avenues one may take when they discover awareness. One may become a teacher at helping others get to that space of awareness. The sole purport being rest, relax into your awareness and stop seeking, you already are what you seek, accept all feelings, you’re perfect, be the container not the contained, etc. An important part of the path but not the Final Truth. That is as far as the teacher can take the student because that is as far as they have gone themselves. Why? They are just grateful they do not feel as bad as they used to and that is enough. I can never be a Maharshi, a Jesus, or a Buddha they tell themselves.

A good life one can lead, but duality has not been transcended as there is still separation between awareness and the object of awareness; the observer and the observed. (Note: When this nondual reality is experienced, the relationship between observer and observed continues for practical purposes of life, but there is a complete annihilation of an exclusive me which experiences it. The T.V. is on and the story plays out un-interrupted, but no one is watching).

Still others that stop at awareness may get completely hijacked by a blatant spiritual ego and become an “empowerment” teacher. This is when the seeker experienced awareness but had a strong disposition for the acquisition of transient things. From the vantage point of “I am total awareness in things” spiritual ego can now say “it’s all mine” and have an extraordinary energy to manifest and create whatever it wants.

It is the perfect mixture of spiritual insight (which they have had) which draws a crowd, and a secret or blatant desire for fame, sense fulfillment, adventure and extraordinary experiences. Often the base line teaching is: it’s all here to enjoy. You are free to live. Empower yourself to get out there and go get your happiness! There is no right or wrong. There is no ego! You are Eternal Awareness! You are just not living and scared to do what you want to do! Go get it! Nothing matters! (Feels empowering doesn’t it lol). It’s because secretly the ego’s idea of enlightenment is unbroken happiness in the fulfillment of thought and sensual experience. A promise that sells very well.

Still others may not be satisfied with either of these two options and they step on a very rare path that is dark, alone, and completely divorced from the known. The only light that leads the way is an intense devotion towards the discovery of: who am  I in spite of awareness, body comfort, thoughts, memories, status, fame, desire and sense experience? Here, the devotee turns away from outer life and towards inner Death. Where surely only the bravest are willing to tread. The cost of admittance is your identity. At some point all the seeker has left is Grace, which descends in the eleventh hour. It is this Grace that draws the bridge between the observer and the observed.

You are still on the fence and haven’t committed to one path. The body will struggle either way. Decide once and for all what is worth fighting for and then with great perseverance press on!

 

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4 thoughts on “I am unhappy and disillusioned by some of these spiritual teachers, even been tricked by some of these “empowerment teachers.” Awareness helps but I feel frustrated because they all say, “practice presence, be the awareness.” I have been doing that but it still feels like a struggle. Why? You seem to speak beyond that; but you are hard to understand.

  1. Emotions play a big role in perceiving. I can personally watch all thoughts but emotions are felt through energy in the bodies entirety.. I can also accept whatever emotion even the difficult ones and become the watcher. Who is the watcher one asks, well to me it’s like watching and being the entire movie at the same time being aware of the whole. Personally I find solice in quiet and peace in letting go and just simply dwelling with what is..

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  2. Your first paragraph resonated with me. I had a conversation with a friend who at the time was days from her 30th birthday. She had shared with me that she was getting old! At 40 I just smiled with my heart.

    I went on to tell her why I love getting older… I am not less stressed. I am not less confrontation. I am not less worrisome. I am not less of all the feelings, emotions, and the sorts. Here is the thing though, I am aware of the fact that these are MY feelings and I own them and no longer label them as faults of other people. Being aware of these feeling gives them less energy to form into fights and embarrassing moments.

    I have come to find that my excitement stems solely from being less resistance of my truth. Whether it comes in the form of an ‘Ah Hah moment’, intuitively, or otherwise, it is mine and I own it. I no longer give my power away.

    I actually felt a surge after that last sentence. I feel blessed that I know how the universe speaks to me and this lessens my confusion when I am unsure if it is my ego or higher self.

    As I read further there is the 5th paragraph that resonates with me too because that moment that seemed like an eternity left me speechless. You are absolutely right; it was grace that saved me.

    Liked by 5 people

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